Monday, November 16, 2009

The weekend, and now a dilemna

I had a pretty full-on (and fabulous!) weekend. There was a karaoke party on Friday, my boss' 50th birthday party Saturday, followed by an all night drinking extravaganza. I had the best time just forgetting about trying to meet men and focusing on just having a great time! And I totally did meet men of course, and had them wrapped around my little finger. Of course (and maybe I should say unfortunately) I didn't like any of them. So I continued to not pay them much attention except when they made a concentrated effort to speak with me. I would say that I probably (read: totally) had too much to drink, but who can say no to free drinks?! I should thank Zoe - her theories on being more attractive and fabulous to men is making going out on the town much much cheaper!

I also have a man I met a while back (read: pre Textbook Romance [T/R]) trying to go out with me. He asked me on a date this coming Wednesday, which was fine because he asked very far in advance (last week!) and I appreciate that. Then Friday he texted me saying that his Sunday suddenly "freed up" and he could see me then instead of I preferred. I didn't text him back until Saturday saying that it was very sweet of him to think of me, but that I already had plans. However, I was looking forward to Wednesday. He called me Sunday and left a voicemail saying that he had some ideas for the Wednesday date and would like to discuss them. It seems, according to Zoe's teachings, that by not accepting the last minute "change of plans" date via text message, I elevated my status and gave myself extra "perceived value" points. What my actions said is:

  1. I have a life;
  2. I don't drop everything just to reply to a text message right away;
  3. I don't reply to text messages when I'm out and busy;
  4. I'm out and busy doing things Friday Night (see point 1);
  5. If he wants to date me, he'll have to call me up and ask me on a proper date; and,
  6. He can't just have me whenever he wants me.
So instead of a whatever Sunday afternoon date, I am getting dinner at a restaurant he chose with reservations.

Now for the dilemna - Commitment issues guy got in touch with me. This was a week ago via Facebook message (although I had deleted him from my friend's list). Pre- T/R, I had replied to his message within an hour (that was just a coincidence as I was not actually expecting a message from him, but I happened to be online... etc). Then he didn't reply all week and today I get a lame reply apologizing because he's been on a business trip to the US all week and he's super busy (haven't we all heard that... I hear that this US country now has the internet - shocking I know!). My dilemna was do I reply now, wait a few days and reply then, or not reply at all. My instinct is to reply now, so I know that's a bad idea! But not replying at all seems too extreme considering that really nothing terrible happened between us - we just wanted different things and went our separate ways. So I have decided to go with option b - wait a few days and then reply. I'll keep it super casual, friendly, but not apologetic for making him wait. If he asks to "get together" I'll go, but I'd keep in friendly. No funny stuff, no action. In my books get together ≠ a date!


101dates said...

so when did you text him?

Princess T said...

Text who, commitment issues guy? I haven't texted him, but I did reply to his message on facebook 3 days after he sent his message. He still hasn't replied so I've written him off and don't expect that I'll hear from him ever again. Men...