I also have a man I met a while back (read: pre Textbook Romance [T/R]) trying to go out with me. He asked me on a date this coming Wednesday, which was fine because he asked very far in advance (last week!) and I appreciate that. Then Friday he texted me saying that his Sunday suddenly "freed up" and he could see me then instead of I preferred. I didn't text him back until Saturday saying that it was very sweet of him to think of me, but that I already had plans. However, I was looking forward to Wednesday. He called me Sunday and left a voicemail saying that he had some ideas for the Wednesday date and would like to discuss them. It seems, according to Zoe's teachings, that by not accepting the last minute "change of plans" date via text message, I elevated my status and gave myself extra "perceived value" points. What my actions said is:
- I have a life;
- I don't drop everything just to reply to a text message right away;
- I don't reply to text messages when I'm out and busy;
- I'm out and busy doing things Friday Night (see point 1);
- If he wants to date me, he'll have to call me up and ask me on a proper date; and,
- He can't just have me whenever he wants me.
Now for the dilemna - Commitment issues guy got in touch with me. This was a week ago via Facebook message (although I had deleted him from my friend's list). Pre- T/R, I had replied to his message within an hour (that was just a coincidence as I was not actually expecting a message from him, but I happened to be online... etc). Then he didn't reply all week and today I get a lame reply apologizing because he's been on a business trip to the US all week and he's super busy (haven't we all heard that... I hear that this US country now has the internet - shocking I know!). My dilemna was do I reply now, wait a few days and reply then, or not reply at all. My instinct is to reply now, so I know that's a bad idea! But not replying at all seems too extreme considering that really nothing terrible happened between us - we just wanted different things and went our separate ways. So I have decided to go with option b - wait a few days and then reply. I'll keep it super casual, friendly, but not apologetic for making him wait. If he asks to "get together" I'll go, but I'd keep in friendly. No funny stuff, no action. In my books get together ≠ a date!