I dabbled with the idea of internet dating, but I have not been impressed with what I've seen and heard. Searching through the profiles, I felt like I had descended into the valley of the undateable! I mean, one guy's first paragraph was about how he was a student, poor, and living with his parents - wow what a catch... Oh and he's 30! By the time you eliminated the students, the fatties, the baldies, the daddies, and the oldies, you were basically left the the liars and the players (the liars being the ones who are not automatically eliminated because they are lying about something...).
My friend told me a few funny stories about her adventures in internet dating, which have totally turned me off. For example, one guy she met had a nice picture of himself with, according to the caption, his fowl. When she asked about the horse, it turned out that it had been sold over three years ago. When she asked him why he didn't have any more recent pictures of himself, he said because he didn't have any more recent pictures. Rrriiiggghhhttttt, a guy who has no pictures from the past 4/5 years (cue alarm bells!). A quick google search revealed the facebook profile with a more recent picture of the guy, plus 20kg! When she confronted the guy, he called her judgmental and shallow! The girl looks like a blonde Angelina Jolie - and fatty thought he'd have a chance with her if he hid the fact that he was actually chubbie in order to allow her to get to know him first?! I drafted a short paragraph for her, which she added to her profile, about recent photos being necessary as her time machine is currently broken, thereby making it impossible to date the you of 5 years ago.
All this to say that, before I go down that dark and scary path, I'll give speed dating a try. The same friend, let's call her Langelina, recommended it for me. She's tried it and really enjoyed it. I think it sounds alright because I can tell within 10 seconds whether I might be interested in dating someone or not, which makes the concept of only having 5-7 minutes per date perfect! No awkward getaway stories (if I have to climb out one more bathroom window...)! And no face to face rejection - just a yes or no on the card is all it takes - and no sms (text) stalking from rejected would-be lovers.
Being me, I signed up for the most expensive event I found, which also happened to be a themed event called Tall Men: An event exclusively for men 6ft and over (women can be of any height - haha!). What can I say, I love tall guys! I feel so uncomfortable with a guy who is short... even if he's taller than me, which is weird. Actually, I've never had a relationship with a guy who was short - all my boyfriends have been really tall. I just like it! Funnily enough, they don't have events for short men... poor shorties :(
But anyway, I figure this event at least guarantees that I'll meet some tall, single (and probably employed judging by the price) guys. Score!
Now I just have to prep myself for my dozen or so mini-dates. I have no idea what I'm going to say, but I figure people will probably ask something annoying like 'tell me about yourself'. To which I have no idea what I will say. How do you sum-up your life in 2 minutes?! I'll work on it... I don't want it to sound too 'I'm so perfect' (you know, I work full time, cook like Nigella Lawson, I sing, I speak many languages, I have two degrees, I'm buying my first property... and I do yoga) but I want to sound interesting (not like um ya, you know, the usual, I like stuff... no I am a real brunette, why do you ask?). So tough... I think I'll just have to wear my cleavage enhancing dress. I figure the less blood the guys have flowing to their brains, the greater the chances they won't even hear what I'm saying. Perfect.